What can coaching or therapy do for you?

And, what are the five things I do as a therapist? As a therapist my job is to meet and assist people with the struggles and desires that life bring to our doorstep.


  • listen
  • empathize
  • ask questions
  • bring in possible new perspectives, and
  • try to assist and support in any way I can.

But how do I know if I really help, or do I?

Sitting at a workshop for professionals this weekend, I was reflecting on my work and what is it that I really do when I work with individuals and groups.

I found it useful to create clarity for myself, and possibly also for my clients on what is actually happening in the coaching/therapy sessions.

I could sum it up as follows:

Number 1Awareness

My main task is to raise their consciousness. Create awareness and clarity about:

  • who they are (soul, body and mind)
  • what their needs are and which are important to address (basic needs)
  • what their patterns are (behavior)
  • how they can be interpreted by the outside (mirroring)
  • and that there is a way out of it (solution)

if they want. Once we create awareness, nothing needs to be stuck or stale anymore.

Awareness creates the possibility for choice. Being able to consciously choose the next step, choose to end what is not working, choose a different path of life. This leads to …

Number 2

Creating motivation. We all need motivation to change or make changes in our lives. Without motivation nothing happens and nothing really gets done. Change may occur, however, it may not be to our liking.

In order to stay motivated, we are brought to number 3.

Number 3

The will to change and make changes. If we are not willing to look at our selves as the one person who can make the change, but rather want other people and/or the world around us to change instead. Nothing happens.

If the client wants to stay in a victim mode – they usually leave my therapy practice. There is nothing I can do for them, when they are not willing to commit to themselves.

In order to make the change you want, you really need to want it, desire it and see the purpose for making that change.

Last but not least, you need to take responsibility for yourself and the change you want to have.

Number 4

With all this, we are together moving the consciousness. Moving it from a stuck pattern, a state of being to potentials, to purpose and possibly more fluidity and conscious synchronisity with life.

Number 5

If I am lucky, and this is the cherry on the top. I am able to assist my clients in creating compassion for themselves. Compassion for the life lived, still living and starting the journey of self love.

Without self love, all goals and achievements become empty and restlessness once again appear.

A hollowness that always seep in, emptiness and loneliness that never seem to go away.

We are creative beings wanting to create and our deepest longing is to be fulfilled, loved and accomplished.

Self love can give us all of that.

Where are you on your journey?

I hope you are enjoying life and all that it brings us. Afterall, life is just an experience where the soul seeks expression.

Tips on the way to self love:

  • Be aware of your self talk, thoughts and how you speak to yourself
  • Your body always listens, are you helping it be happy?
  • Can you allow life to happen, instead of controlling it?
  • Be gentle with yourself
  • Can you laugh at yourself? As much as possible.
  • Allow yourself to be all of YOU – both the good and the bad
  • Take yourself serious, but not take life too serious. This is a trick to be happier with all that is.

Have a great day wherever you are and thank you for taking the time to read my reflections.